Do I believe? I don't know. I want to - as agent Mulder so boldly states on his sub-basement's dingy wall. It's like I have 2 people in my head, 1 that wants to see the 'synchronicity' and patterns in the mundane monotony of everyday life.
I really wish that the Mayans were on to something with their epic calendars and creation stories. I want to find irrefutable evidence and be able to validate Sitchen's Enki story. I fear that these fantastic ideas are just that. . fantasy.
I think we all try to create ideas and find meaning in our often chaotic and out of control lives. I believe that this is the reason religion and related routine based mysticism is so consistently successful. Ultimately we are lost and afraid of the unknown and unknowable. Fear creates awe and 'mystic' revelation, we believe we are looking into the face of 'God' - that we are being told, or that we feel are being guided toward our destiny.
What if we are all alone?
A cosmic happen chance, a coincidence? That we live and choose our destiny and fate? We are responsible for everything we do - good, bad, success, failure.
When we die - do we disappear? Does our 'energy' dissipate as our cells die and decay? I don't know.
That idea is do scary for so many that we seek to prolong our miserable little existences until someday we find some form of immortality. I personally cannot wait to move on and away from this ridiculous existence. I have no desire to linger longer, to fight against the dying of the light. . .
